My mind is packed with thoughts. This crowd is functioning in the background. None of them is clear to me. I am not even aware how am I even writing this at the moment.
I realised this week that I love you but I can’t decipher how should I tell you that. The last time we conversed, you tried to make me confess my love for you but I really thought that I liked you so much because of the intense spiritual connection that we share.
Music keeps my body and life moving. I lose count of the number of rounds I take and hardly take notice if I am feeling cold or tired when I keep singing while I am walking in rounds.
I met a man who was in dire need of love.
He appeared to be harmful.
Everyone told me he has ill intentions.
Since he seemed untrustworthy and disloyal,
they warned me and asked me to be careful.
I was fed up
and I thought you don’t care.
There were a lot of things
that I had to share
“I don’t love you,” she replied to him as he sat on one knee with a rose in his hand, looking at her face with love in his eyes and smile on his lips. “I am sorry,” she apologized with a hope that he won’t feel hurt.
Sometimes, a thought strikes in my mind
‘What if I have nothing to write?
What would I do when the subject’s void?’
but I suppose, this situation will never occur possibly.
I am thinking of dropping my college lately. Of course, my parents won’t allow me to but it’s a constant recurrent thought in my mind, not because I wish to follow a trend of famous people but because I feel there is a lot of unwanted energy around me that’s hindering me, more or less, from accessing the best of me and my life.
I can’t pinpoint or put a finger on it. You seeped into me slowly and steadily. You and me have become comfortable in the space that we provide to each other. I am waiting to see you live for the first time and believe it or not, I am doing this willingly. Didn’t I say before that I feel like I know you? You are not so stranger to me as you should’ve been.
It aches to stay away from you. You are still a thought, but now with an essence. It aches to think that I will not think of you. It aches to wipe off all the possibilities from my mind— the fights, the resolutions, all the hugs and warmth—everything. It aches to believe that you will always remain just a thought.