Finally, after 16, 8 and 2.5 years of instances when I faced sexual abuse at the hands of three different predators older than me in age and evil in intention, breaking me altogether and after joining all my pieces to return to the original masterpiece that I am but better myself on my own, and grieving over it, crying my heart out, facing terrible emotional pain which felt like a heart attack every time and coming out of the phase when I wanted to die after giving myself one last chance, now, in this moment, I feel like I have finally broken free from all of those shackles and really feel the burden completely off me. This doesn’t discard any of my sufferings and experiences but I am glad that now, I will be able to experience pure bliss with trust and confidence on him and me in our healthy relationship that I can sense is coming soon. I feel free now.
It feels good to be known but I feel better when I remain in the unknown and my work is appreciated and better, constructively criticised instead. Do you know me? Do I know myself?
I realised this week that I love you but I can’t decipher how should I tell you that. The last time we conversed, you tried to make me confess my love for you but I really thought that I liked you so much because of the intense spiritual connection that we share.
Turn into a baby again.
Roll over your torso.
When did we grow up?
What was the need to do so?
Everyone says India WAS known as the ‘golden bird’ because it was the wealthiest nation in the world. Though, at the time, it is not associated with the term, but I believe that it still validates its name in all senses.
Perseverance and existence are co-related. Perseverance or deterrence—what to follow? What do you gain if you follow them and what do you lose if you don’t? Which one is more important for our existence as an individual?
I lost my register yesterday while giving a presentation. Along with it, I lost very crucial notes of various subjects I am studying to me this semester. I searched for it everywhere—home and college— but in vain. Damn! They could have helped me in the test that I gave today. Also, I could have excelled in all my subjects by studying through it. It held all the keywords within. It consisted of my hard work of every day, every hour, every moment I spent in college while I still possessed it. Even my friends were worried and regretted for my loss. What a great loss!
You don’t need to face all the nonsense in your life. There may be people around you who make you feel guilty for just being yourself. Scrap them off the story of your life. They are not required to travel your journey with you.
It aches to stay away from you. You are still a thought, but now with an essence. It aches to think that I will not think of you. It aches to wipe off all the possibilities from my mind— the fights, the resolutions, all the hugs and warmth—everything. It aches to believe that you will always remain just a thought.
I close my eyes
and can see you.
You haven’t met me uptil
now but many a times, I have met you.