Tug of War

I am missing my ex right now all of a sudden. Why? I don’t know. This is happening for the third time since we separated and every time this emotion manages to make me anxious and my feelings wheel as if in a whirlwind. Today, I even surfed his name and then, as always, that feeling of the regret of surfing him grew on me. 

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A great loss!

I lost my register yesterday while giving a presentation. Along with it, I lost very crucial notes of various subjects I am studying to me this semester. I searched for it everywhere—home and college— but in vain. Damn! They could have helped me in the test that I gave today. Also, I could have excelled in all my subjects by studying through it. It held all the keywords within. It consisted of my hard work of every day, every hour, every moment I spent in college while I still possessed it. Even my friends were worried and regretted for my loss. What a great loss!

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Outburst

I am on the verge of bursting out. The burden of the regrets of the past and some mistakes which provided no opportunity to me to correct them constantly haunt my mind. Music holds the threads of sanity within me together and intact. All around me are loads of frustration. Each person I see passes off their lack of hope and drive to whoever they meet, as if getting rid of an infectious disease by getting others infected and troubling them.

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Fall

We are hurt and exhausted. We both faced a great fall in our lives. We give a lot to the ones we love, so much that we forget to love ourselves. I have learnt, though, after processing my emotions throughout the time I devoted to myself, that no matter what, I will never again forget to love myself. None’s entry or exit in and out of my life would affect me so much as to make me hollow and void of love. We will rise.

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