It feels good to be known but I feel better when I remain in the unknown and my work is appreciated and better, constructively criticised instead. Do you know me? Do I know myself?
I realised this week that I love you but I can’t decipher how should I tell you that. The last time we conversed, you tried to make me confess my love for you but I really thought that I liked you so much because of the intense spiritual connection that we share.
I am losing interest in everything again. I know why. It is because I am losing interest in myself. I am trying really hard to be interested in my myself but my habit of sabotaging is returning in bits again.
I met a man who was in dire need of love.
He appeared to be harmful.
Everyone told me he has ill intentions.
Since he seemed untrustworthy and disloyal,
they warned me and asked me to be careful.
You are like the sun and my life is like the Earth. It revolves around you. As soon as I decide to go away from you, your sincere efforts hold me back. I feel that this time I will pull so far away from you that all the strings that bind me to you will break. I will walk away from you and will miss you a lot in my life later. But that will only happen when I am able to break the strings attached to you which I am not able to.
I am a woman.
Free from all the roles which
I am generally associated with,
I am basically just a human.
You are much awaited. Though, surely, I will not lie on the floor and spread myself out for you to come and walk over me but there is a space in my heart and in my life only designed for you to come and make yourself comfortable.
I lost my register yesterday while giving a presentation. Along with it, I lost very crucial notes of various subjects I am studying to me this semester. I searched for it everywhere—home and college— but in vain. Damn! They could have helped me in the test that I gave today. Also, I could have excelled in all my subjects by studying through it. It held all the keywords within. It consisted of my hard work of every day, every hour, every moment I spent in college while I still possessed it. Even my friends were worried and regretted for my loss. What a great loss!
I can’t pinpoint or put a finger on it. You seeped into me slowly and steadily. You and me have become comfortable in the space that we provide to each other. I am waiting to see you live for the first time and believe it or not, I am doing this willingly. Didn’t I say before that I feel like I know you? You are not so stranger to me as you should’ve been.
No matter wherever I go, I’ll come back to you. You are my home. There’s a comfort in your existence. I believe in you. I believe in myself when I don’t want to because you believe in me. You have become an indirect source of power and positivity for me.