This Love Goes Deep

I want to look at your face forever,

Noting the expressions you deliver,

Especially, as you look away or to the side,

When I can stare at you without trying to hide.

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I am missing something, trying to find it through each of my piece of work, in each song that interacts with my senses (which includes thoughts). I feel a little bit of peace due to the change of environment every now-and-then but this feeling of missing something doesn’t leave. This is not ‘fear of missing out’. I am saying this when I am feeling at peace with myself, loving myself and trying to treat myself the best way I can in the moment.

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I am searching for something on a soul level since always, since before I was introduced to learning Music, since before I had my first crush ever, since before I met my best friends. It doesn’t have a name. I can’t define definitely what, who or where is it. Whatever appears even slightly like it, I run towards that. It may be an idea, my work, a person- whatever looks like that, I want to spend more time with it. Slowly I realise, they are not what I was searching for.

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Such a new energy yet so familiar, going back in time. New because I don’t know how he looks in 3D and even in visions, I am unable to identify him in his human form. Now, it’s knowledge and interacting with it is peaceful for me in both the realms. The song ‘Tose Naina Lage’ plays in my mind when I feel this energy and try to understand him in 3D since I haven’t met him yet. There is so much peace in this but not in a way that it is boring. This energy is very focused, fierce, determined and passionate, like an arrow which darts straight and is shot in the exact middle of the target which is made on the trunk of tree in the midst of a dense forest which is also full of peace (with no threat at all, even of the wild animals). It stirs within me a lot but also gives me a lot of peace, which has been in the 5D since always and more so, since the past three years but I can also feel its 3D form when I have not yet seen him with my eyes. The songs that were associated with the connection which show the reality of the connection beyond the surface are showing more intense and protective energy- an energy of reciprocal, an energy that fumes something so much within me that talking about it or thinking about about it for a few minutes ignites something within me and I start feeling unbearable heat in my body. It’s not anxiety. It is not any energy or person from my past of this life at all, which is why I am not looking at him at all in any of the dreams or visions while he is looking at me all the time. I don’t even need card readings to understand his energy because they tell less about him than my intuition. For the first time, I am seeing that somebody is matching my level but I know that my focus will be elsewhere when the time will finally come of our meeting in the 3D reality. I am even more disinterested in all of this love business in the 3D now.

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