Rule Of Thumb

When I will be so aggrieved that I will become numb

I will push you away- it is a rule of thumb

I won’t be able to listen to your voice

Your vibe will be overpowered by the negative noise

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Mission Impossible

Booking the appointment of my next therapy session was being postponed since the first of this month. It is such a huge task whose execution needs a lot of planning and yet, I can’t ever say when, how or if even at all that planning will be successful. I thought of it today, saw the availability and booked the session because it is a priority and there are many things already piled up to be discussed. I have found some answers but there are still many questions in my mind. And oh, my mind, of course. I give it a minute and it starts convincing me to delay or cancel on attending therapy at all because it gets stressed. Thankfully, this time, it doesn’t have so much time that it can do that because I am going to be busy in work and will be doing the work related to the next session. As for the update, I had already felt it intuitively, like I felt another cycle coming to an end intuitively before it happened in the 3D reality. Weird ways of life, I can say, or maybe some karmic contract reached its end. Whatever. I am quite processing it and quite not.

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I am drained. Things just don’t turn out be good ever and nobody understands my pain- they just don’t. They are not in my place. I don’t want to blame anyone. I just wish…..someone understood….for once…..that it’s not so easy to just feel good, it’s not justified to keep working when I have no energy but I have to because of the circumstances. I just….I don’t know. It takes so much energy to talk to people I love. They come really close to understanding the issue but just don’t reach there completely ever. It’s like….crying is never enough and it is so tiring that as soon as I let myself feel my low emotions, the negative energies and elements start attacking me. I can’t truly relax……ever.

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