Seelenmüdigkeit

Lessons learnt; paths travelled.

Tired soul- future dishevelled.

Journeys seeming to not meet their end,

Energy and time- too much have been spent.

Continue reading

Invest

People always get attracted to me and/or my work but that’s not what I desire for. I want them to invest in my projects- if not money, then time or appreciation. If it’s a potential partner, I want them to invest their time, to make efforts, stay genuine and truthful all the time where I don’t have to stress about any unethical or immoral acts that they may be doing (nothing that is intolerable to me) and I haven’t met anyone such uptil now. The facade fades within 2-3 years (which makes me happy that I take things slow and with caution because they prove me right). I don’t even want them to be attached to me as attachment also causes pain. Attachment, attraction and investment are all different.

Continue reading

Spatial Connect

Sometimes, giving space and not interacting all the time is good. It doesn’t necessarily imply that a connection is not strong or good enough or just a fake or hollow connection. I share deep connections with people I don’t talk to everyday, in months and sometimes, even years. Active communication is great but keeping a tab on each other in its absence is just as good. It has worked for me in friendships (only in friendships though).

Continue reading

Redemption

This time in my life- it’s tough. Growth is super-slow, almost non-evident and non-existing. I have already put it 200 times more effort than was needed and haven’t received even 1% in return. I am putting in 300% now. In case, you are struggling while reading this and have put in more than your potential and all that you could and haven’t been reciprocated at all for all of that, I want to let you know that if you are feeling defeated or frustrated, it’s genuine and obvious to feel so. I don’t expect you to feel victorious or put on a facade of feeling amazing when you are feeling exhausted and clueless- about what more can you do, questioning did you even do enough, waiting while working for a better outcome because you don’t have an option or are on the verge of or have just given up altogether. You are not wrong. What you feel is totally obvious and acceptable (if you wanted to hear this one word). Yes, you have put in enough, in fact, all that you could. If you weren’t reciprocated equally, it’s not your fault at all.

Continue reading

Mysterious

Who is this man? Why does he appear in my dreams whenever I ask about my ultimate partner (if I will get married at all)? He looks the same as the one who I met the last time in the waking life but both of them are different people even if they look alike because the man in my dreams and visions never lets any woman even roam around his radius and always has his eyes on me- only on me. Their core is different which makes them different.

Continue reading

Who Knew?

I have outlived a lot of my fears or rather, I can say that things have revealed themselves in such a way- such realities have come to the surface- that such emotions have subsided, no, they have ended altogether now. Maybe it’s growth or maybe just life or maybe, it is my self-work- I don’t know. Evaluating this tells me that no one can even estimate close to what will actually happen in their future. They can put in the work and calculate the possibilities but the circumstances that happen are unpredictable, for example, the pandemic the world is living through right now.

Continue reading