It is as if this feeling finds its way to my focus. This yearning of not having someone close to me who I can feel but haven’t yet met physically keeps getting more painful, especially if it catches my attention right after a moment of bliss and joy. I can feel him more when I am unable to pay attention to the aspect of my life concerning love and relationships.
Then, a splurge of various other emotions and moods occur. I feel like he should be here but then, I feel nervous thinking about what would he think if he will catch me looking at him? I know he will not judge me but I am just scared of showing my emotions to him, maybe because they are very intense.
Mostly, I like the journey more than the destination but in this situation, I just can’t wait to reach the destination. How much longer? But then, it also feels like it’s too early when I consider my age. I am quite afraid. A lot of ‘what if’s revolve in my head but this yearning of union is greater than all of this.