Torchbearer

Even when this year will end, there will be three years and three moths left until I can meet my ultimate. I am eager to meet him. I am working and resting, trying to enjoy without him. Loving myself is not related to his presence. It’s difficult but I do love myself absolutely, even when the people around me keep making it tough unnecessarily by poking their nose in my business, despite warning them to not do it. The final decision rests with me and I don’t care what people think about it. I don’t create ar for the audience. I create art for me, for my pleasure and that is all that matters. You don’t like my work? Don’t interact with it at all.

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Throb

Sometimes, we love the hustle more than the results. We don’t even care as much about the latter. We love being on the go rather than sitting back and relaxing and eating the fruits of our hardwork and efforts. We love adventures and treks more than halts. The wind, the environment shifts, the uncertainty makes our heart throb and that gives us a feeling of truly living our lives.

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Gems

Sometimes, what keeps you warm and going are not even the people around you. They are not blankets and fireplace. They are the people who you haven’t met ever physically or can only feel their presence on this Earth. They are a vibe; when they meet you physically, you don’t feel like leaving at all. You wish to stay for as long and as late as you can….so late that the possibility of meeting them later never comes because you never went your own ways quite literally. They are authentic. They are gems.

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Where’s The Light?

Diwali is a time in the whole year that I love the most but this year, I don’t feel as much in the mood of it. Irritating things are happening around me. My mother killed most of the vibe of Diwali by postponing decorating the house and lighting up diyas to the point that I didn’t want to do it anymore. I told her that I would make the rangoli yesterday but she refused saying that it is made on the actual day of the occasion and not before that and pasted a sticker pf rangoli outside the house. Today is the first day of my periods—of all the days in the month, today, the day of Diwali. I am creating another song but my brother cannot stop trying to teach me my work, criticising my way of working and my skills and calling it “giving a response”. This is why I don’t like working with other people. Work doesn’t happen at all and my mood and vibe is always ruined. On the top of that, I have to tolerate unnecessary opinions that make me feel bad about me and my work. My content also doesn’t turn out to be something positive. My body is aching since over an hour and I don’t have the energy to get up in pain and prepare a hot water bag for me. Pain is not letting me sleep. Struggle to achieve financial freedom is still going on.

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Hollow

I am missing something, trying to find it through each of my piece of work, in each song that interacts with my senses (which includes thoughts). I feel a little bit of peace due to the change of environment every now-and-then but this feeling of missing something doesn’t leave. This is not ‘fear of missing out’. I am saying this when I am feeling at peace with myself, loving myself and trying to treat myself the best way I can in the moment.

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