Aperture

An outlet is much needed. I have come to my cousin’s house for the week and I didn’t even call my parents or brother at home. I just didn’t feel like doing it. My routine is the same but better here. I don’t have TV switched on early in the morning on the loudest amount of volume possible. In short, there is peace and it is not just external peace. There is internal peace as well. Today, I and my cousin sister went to the mall and while eating our meal there, I told her of all the times when my parents have disappointed me, all of my troubles and that they say that they do but my parents just don’t understand.

I wanted a break from that environment. Even when there is nothing wrong actively happening in my parents’ house at the moment, I just can’t rest there. There is always something burdening in the air of that house and no matter how much I may think that my parents have changed, there is always a moment when they fall back to their patterns and stay there. There are things that keep happening in my life and even if I tell them the whole thing that is troubling me, my issues always seem trivial to them or is considered once I have arranged for my help myself or if someone else tells my parents that I have such issues and my parents are picky even in these people. They choose the ones who are right according to them, not right according to the basic ethics.

It should never be that one has to go through constant pain, trouble, issues or hassles and only then can they grow but parents have that mindset and not just mine, the parents of this whole country have this wrong mindset which they are trying to carry forward to the next generation through their offspring(s). Constant strife only ends in burnout. I really needed this change- this outlet. I feel great now and will feel better when I will meet my besties and attend my next therapy session- much needed and due to book since over a week now after completing my homework. I feel even more relaxed after having this outlet.


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