The Scarecrow And The Dolphin

A pink ocean

whose waves move in

a circular motion

And a dolphin

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Such a new energy yet so familiar, going back in time. New because I don’t know how he looks in 3D and even in visions, I am unable to identify him in his human form. Now, it’s knowledge and interacting with it is peaceful for me in both the realms. The song ‘Tose Naina Lage’ plays in my mind when I feel this energy and try to understand him in 3D since I haven’t met him yet. There is so much peace in this but not in a way that it is boring. This energy is very focused, fierce, determined and passionate, like an arrow which darts straight and is shot in the exact middle of the target which is made on the trunk of tree in the midst of a dense forest which is also full of peace (with no threat at all, even of the wild animals). It stirs within me a lot but also gives me a lot of peace, which has been in the 5D since always and more so, since the past three years but I can also feel its 3D form when I have not yet seen him with my eyes. The songs that were associated with the connection which show the reality of the connection beyond the surface are showing more intense and protective energy- an energy of reciprocal, an energy that fumes something so much within me that talking about it or thinking about about it for a few minutes ignites something within me and I start feeling unbearable heat in my body. It’s not anxiety. It is not any energy or person from my past of this life at all, which is why I am not looking at him at all in any of the dreams or visions while he is looking at me all the time. I don’t even need card readings to understand his energy because they tell less about him than my intuition. For the first time, I am seeing that somebody is matching my level but I know that my focus will be elsewhere when the time will finally come of our meeting in the 3D reality. I am even more disinterested in all of this love business in the 3D now.

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Connections have their own ways. They form themselves. They cannot be forced or manipulated and it is just obvious that we share multiple connections of various natures with people at the same time. No, I am not justifying cheating on your partner. Never do that. I am stating the obvious that it is practically impossible to be involved only with a single group of people and never interact with anyone else or never form a good bond outside of that connection. You still bond with your friends when you are married and you still interact with your colleagues, boss and other friends while you cherish bonding with your besties in one connection. You still talk to your doctor when needed.

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Paying the education fees of my child is not something that I should expect them to return. They have the right to be educated and as a parent, it is my duty to pay my child’s fee. I should never be adding it up until my child turns of legal age to ask them to now pay me back for all those years of doing a part of my duty as a parent nor shall I express this in front of them to “let them know” how much part of the expense that I have as a parent is theirs. My child is neither expected nor obliged to pay me back in any way- money or through being an overachiever or obliging or agreeing with me even when they disagree in their mind. This kind of demand as a parent cannot be considered the same or even near to teaching the importance of money or how struggle looks like or teaching simplicity to my offspring. I mean, what is wrong in pampering my child? I have often seen that “tough love” is appreciated and “gentle parenting” is looked down upon where comfort is “spoiling” a child. Is a child not supposed to feel the love of her parent(s)? I haven’t seen human emotions being taken into consideration in balance by the birth-givers in the society we live in. As a parent, it is my duty to teach my child equal give and take, right and wrong and let them decide with their wisdom.

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Weird Intensity

I have never felt like this before. This unknown emotion is making me restless. It is stirring something within me. It is something. Does it have a definite name? I don’t know. If I ever marry in this lifetime, who will I marry, I don’t know but by the vague blur figure I see in my visions and dreams now that I know that he will look different from his spiritual form, there is a sense of peace, no heaviness but at the same time, I feel something very intense within me for this unknown figure. I don’t imagine any stress or worry because I feel like we will actually work together as partners on our connection always as will perfectly complement each other. If anything, I imagine peaceful co-existence at all times and fun and goofiness rather. Normally, what I imagine or see or feel in my visions on the surface level looks like games, fun, healthy communication and slowly opening up to each other but then, there is something very intense I feel, that makes my fists clench in the visions and in the 3D reality. It is something like an aggressive pining but more.

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Mission Impossible

Booking the appointment of my next therapy session was being postponed since the first of this month. It is such a huge task whose execution needs a lot of planning and yet, I can’t ever say when, how or if even at all that planning will be successful. I thought of it today, saw the availability and booked the session because it is a priority and there are many things already piled up to be discussed. I have found some answers but there are still many questions in my mind. And oh, my mind, of course. I give it a minute and it starts convincing me to delay or cancel on attending therapy at all because it gets stressed. Thankfully, this time, it doesn’t have so much time that it can do that because I am going to be busy in work and will be doing the work related to the next session. As for the update, I had already felt it intuitively, like I felt another cycle coming to an end intuitively before it happened in the 3D reality. Weird ways of life, I can say, or maybe some karmic contract reached its end. Whatever. I am quite processing it and quite not.

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Grind Culture

Grinding and hustling are not as beneficial in the long run as they sound. They are quite the opposite, rather. Even if it’s self-work, it gets exhausting. I am one of the people who follow the hustle culture because that is how my lifestyle and circumstances have been since my childhood and throughout my teenage. For me, work is a coping mechanism and I have practiced it over a decade before I learnt that it is an unhealthy habit which was not until later.

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Romanticising My Body

Freshly bathed, I stand in front of the mirror. My body looks so beautiful. I look fit. The rolls on my body are just perfect. I wouldn’t want them to ever disappear. My collarbones and each angle of my body looks so beautiful no matter however I may stand. It looks different from each angle but obviously so beautiful.

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