This time in my life- it’s tough. Growth is super-slow, almost non-evident and non-existing. I have already put it 200 times more effort than was needed and haven’t received even 1% in return. I am putting in 300% now. In case, you are struggling while reading this and have put in more than your potential and all that you could and haven’t been reciprocated at all for all of that, I want to let you know that if you are feeling defeated or frustrated, it’s genuine and obvious to feel so. I don’t expect you to feel victorious or put on a facade of feeling amazing when you are feeling exhausted and clueless- about what more can you do, questioning did you even do enough, waiting while working for a better outcome because you don’t have an option or are on the verge of or have just given up altogether. You are not wrong. What you feel is totally obvious and acceptable (if you wanted to hear this one word). Yes, you have put in enough, in fact, all that you could. If you weren’t reciprocated equally, it’s not your fault at all.
No, taking the break was an essential need for you and not mere comfort that you chose over priorities. Rest is a part of the priorities. Maybe, you are doubting yourself or even blaming or questioning your whole existence. Some of you may believe it to be a tough phase, a few may be upset and aggrieved about why things just never turn out to be good or have to be so difficult or maybe some of you are taking the help of the logic that you are going the dark night of the soul in an attempt to make yourself feel a little hopeful and create hope when it isn’t so evident, believing that there will come a moment of redemption. I am sure one person out of all the readers reading this at this moment (when you are reading this) will relate to all that I am writing here and will feel as if this writeup has been created while keeping them in mind, whether you tell me or not. I just know intuitively.
I started out about me but this writeup became centered to you- my readers. I may also be telling all of these things to me in these times of struggle of many kinds through this writeup but I am not doing it consciously. You will know if it is meant for you. I have nothing extraordinarily optimistic to tell you or make you feel better. I won’t give you false hopes. For many, struggle comes repeatedly and stays in one form or another for long and no matter how hard they try, they are not able to find a way out of them. I don’t know how long the struggle will last but I hope to hear from you, today or whenever your eyes are reading this writeup, maybe….just maybe….in a hope of redemption of some sort.
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