Repent

It was yesterday when I was feeling like running away from the life I am living currently and start with a completely fresh page where nobody from the current life scenario will know my whereabouts and today, after all the good moments of 2.5 months (because they don’t last long), my father stooped low to his level and talked to me rudely merely because I was working and told him that I don’t know how to change any channels or whatever the issue with the TV was because I don’t know what to call it. Just because of that, he labeled my behaviour as arrogant which is wrong when I had told him in low tone that I am not the one who can resolve the issue. This bloody man does this on purpose. I know this. He wants that I should feel grateful for the things that he must have provided to me as they are my basic needs as an individual and he had chosen to be the father. Yet another reiteration of one of the reasons why most of the people in my generation doesn’t want to bore children-even if adopted-even if they love children.

I tried to divert my attention from this instance a lot and immersed myself into my work but it seems like this strategy doesn’t work anymore. Telling the rest of the family members about how I feel is a waste because they will eventually pass it off as me being too sensitive. What’s new in this? Why do sensitive people have to adjust to the rude people when it must be the other way around? And I agree that I don’t interact with my father properly or anyone in my family and I have a reason for that. They keep interfering in my work, telling me what to do in the things that I have expertise in when they learn a few things from vague or experimental articles on the Internet. Yet another reason why I hate seeking anyone’s help- they can’t keep their thoughts to themselves and yes, if you are not a professional who is qualified enough to give any suggestions to me or my best friends of 8+ years, you cannot give advices to me, no matter whatever position you may hold in your job. I don’t give a damn about your “high status”. Respect my choice.

These people- who have hurt or wronged me ever- should pray and thank whoever they believe in for their safety. I won’t do anything but I know that those who will wrong me won’t live with peace or happiness ever. Another lesson reiterated again after being reiterated n number of times in my life for me is that I don’t have to be sweet and humble with my family members because that somehow creates imbalance in their karm and that hurts me because I created this imbalance getting overjoyed in care and affection. They don’t deserve my goodness and they will receive none of it. All of them will repent, whether I get to know it or not.


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