Thin And Never Happy

It may seem strange but it is always that when I start becoming thinner, I start feeling bad about about myself and the negativity creeps in. I try to love all of my shapes and sizes. How much I weigh, how I look and all of such temporary things don’t bother me but as soon as I see myself being thin, I start feeling bad. Being thin is not happy, at least not for me, at least not right now.

I did not have a good relationship with my body since the beginning. I love and accept myself since always but I was influenced by a crowd of destructive criticisers which are still see have not minimised at all. When I was thin, I was body-shamed. Now that I have put on weight and look and feel healthy and happy, one nasty, annoying, rude, disrespectful relative who has no manners at all has to push me to the dearth and dump again.

There was a time in a few months before today when I could feel happy even when I saw myself as thin. I, however, feel confident when I look fuller, doesn’t matter that I don’t realise it in that moment when I am doing it. No matter what size except thin, I love my body and myself and feel confident but I want this exception to erode as well.

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