Don’t compromise. Work on your problems instead. Compromise removes the possibility of improvement and burdens one of the parties with the feeling of being thankful to the other because they owe them that feeling. That relationship can never be healthy because then, there is no equity. A relationship is not meant to be an association like that between the lender and borrower.
Give respect and you will get it in return. Nobody remembers your compromise, so why do you want to do something that doesn’t let you be wholesome? However, do not be stubborn as well. Don’t be sacrificial. Nobody will hail your name for your greatness. You may feel a little sense of victory over the other person but then, this makes you above them, not equal. Compromise makes us codependent on the other person for our happiness. Give space for others to be able to vibe with you. Not compromising doesn’t mean that you will show attitude. You are not on a weighing scale that you need to be bent towards any of the sides. A balance needs to exist.
Don’t compromise on your mental health ever— for a joke, a friendship, your parents or guardian, your school or educational system, your neighbour or relatives or family, a random stranger or anyone else, even to be able to escape facing your problems.
Compromise leads to regrets, holding space doesn’t. You would have compromised in almost every aspect of your life except love relationships because most of us come in love relationships to be happy and blissful. Compromise doesn’t bring that feeling, does it?
Don’t compromise on your dreams, even for your parents or whoever your caretaker may have been. I have never seen anyone in the 21 years of my life that people tell that they gave up on their dreams for their parents without a hint of regret or confusion in their eyes. There is always a question in the back of their mind—what if I would have had the courage to pursue my dreams? Only you will have to deal with the strong emotions that will be stored in your unconscious and will keep resurfacing and troubling you for the rest of your life. Parents are not gods. They can never be. They are humans. Follow your dreams (only if they don’t harm others and are not criminal) so that the regret does not suffocate you later. Dare to be unconventional. Nevertheless, we have changed the conventions time and again, haven’t we?