Even in the moments without you, I survive
but the moments spent with you bring me to life.
In fact, they are so surreal
that I can’t believe them even hours later.
Without you, I was respiring quite well
but you took me beyond breathing for survival.
I am telling you honestly,
I gave myself one last chance
only to die whenever I would have felt
that my time on Earth has come to an end.
I wanted to die desperately but with no regrets.
So, I decided to live instead,
for one last time wholeheartedly
so that there would be nothing
to repent about on my deathbed.
But I did not know that I was choosing
something extremely terrifying—
you chose me and I had to choose life—
I could see that your heart is that of a child,
I didn’t know that, contrary to my schemes,
instead of death, I was choosing life.
I wasn’t accustomed to live
but just breathe and survive
except in some moments of art very rare.
I was suffocated in my space,
where people around me don’t take
responsibility for harming me but keep blaming.
Maybe, that is why I was
and still am terrified,
because I am not accustomed to
living sans receiving judgements or advice
as living with a person like you
and because you, in yourself, are life.