Melodious Intoxication

To me, Music is an intoxication, only that there are no negative effects of it except to keep fighting and justifying my love for it from childhood to now because brainless people won’t understand it in the first time itself. Why is that even a question? Who questions someone’s passion? Absurd people.

Music makes me forget all bad, just as intoxication of drugs does to the ones who are indulged in it but it doesn’t have similar repercussions. Even if not, it has helped me deal with it. Those few minutes or hours of listening to the songs who speak my mind still keep me sane. It doesn’t even matter what genre it is. Every genre speaks to me when it is their time. It gives my mind the space it needs to imagine, think and create. Currently, it is my only escape from unwanted reality. 

It helps me process my emotions because in my house, without drawing all the attention to me, I can’t even dance. To avoid gaze and being intruded any time of the day and also to prevent myself from self-sabotage (which comes from stupid and unnecessary expectations and insolence of my family, who neither realise nor apologize for their unnecessary insolence directed towards me), I have to lock myself inside my room and when the outer voices and the inner critical voice becomes louder than self-belief, only Music can calm me down and pull me back to my senses (and prevent from being gaslighted). It helps me maintain my sanity. It doesn’t judge me, like my family or this society nor does it impose on me to accept this toxic behaviour. It doesn’t burden me with heavy expectations. I have said this before and I will say this again that the only reason I could sustain my life to this day is solely Art and especially, Music, whether it be listening, singing, writing, composing, recording or releasing. The only time I am sane, therefore, is when I am intoxicated.

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