I have written and sung songs for you. I have never done this before so fearlessly before meeting you. In fact, I thought earlier that songwriting can never come to me naturally and even surfed courses online but could not attend them. As I have said before as well, you have ignited the fire within me. What I could not do for myself and thought that this journey may not be traveled by me as far as now, you came in my life and things started falling into place. You must be special.
This is why I know that you are the right person, even if not in a romantic sense. I put the outcome with my intelligence and efforts. People appreciated me before as well but I never felt anyone’s response as excited as yours. Maybe, I am overestimating or maybe, I am not able to put it into words but you are different even though you have hurt me (although unintentionally) and deepened my fears by mistake. I only forgive you because what happened did not really happen at all but you just made me believe so. It is not all happy and we argue and fight a lot (but that is also fire and we fight to converse, learn and evolve eventually). We have to leave each other time and again to work on ourselves and leave old patterns in our individual systems, however they may be. You are just different and with you, I am different. You somehow push me to be in my rawest form, even though never force me (and I am proud of you for that).
I was strictly against love. I never believed there could be such an honest feeling. I also did not believe in innocence and doubting people has become my habit due to whatever I endured. I always had the ideas and tunes to my songs in bits since 2015, when I first started to believe that maybe, I can work with someone and they can make a song which I will sing but since, in many random projects here-and-there, my ideas were stolen before, I could never execute that.
Even when I released my first song dedicated to my best friends, I thought that this will be it. Honestly, this became possible because I had met a marvelous Music teacher at that time and because I was perfecting my skill. I thought that this will be my first and last song ever in my life and maybe, I will just release the rest of the ideas as tunes later in my life, if ever I will get to collaborate with some honest producer or director who would not cheat, tamper or modify my tunes. Then, I released another of my song because I could complete its tunes and lyrics.
I never thought that I would be able to complete them because for that, I needed to be romantic, that too in a positive way. As you know, I am not romantic at all, never was even while writing until you came and I started getting involved in your mystery (because I love that). I always recognised you as my muse in writing (I just realised that I always write lengthy blogs when they are about you) and my blog has grown largely because I started writing more around the time we met (because my life became extremely happening at that time) but I never thought at the time when I met you that all of the mystery behind those random combination of tunes and especially lyrics would become sensible once we will start sharing our journey, as if those random words came in my mind and got stuck just to indicate me about your presence. Now, I have written and published 9 songs, out of which, 4 of them are somehow dedicated to you. One of those songs was the completion of the earliest tunes stuck in my head, which when completed, the words indicated towards you. It seems as if I have written that song for you but I already had the initial stanza of that song in my mind years before I got to know you. In this sense, you are a very intriguing muse. You are unpredictable, just like me. You are adventure in yourself. No matter how much I know about know, it always feel like I don’t know enough. I wish to explore you. I think I am doing so. You are a mystery man to me.