Can you be any more inhuman, inconsiderate and uncompassionate when you start judging a person who has taken her or his life? You are so inconsiderate that instead of empathy, you practice judgement towards the another person—when alive and post-demise.
Anyone who takes this step feels misunderstood, judgement and cannot ever find a safe space to talk and heal. They are already burdened with their mental battles. They are tired and exhausted and even when they leave, what do you give to them except critical judgement?
The statements which say that one should not commit suicide because it passes on her or his pain on to others must have been made by an extremely non-understanding judgemental person who cannot even stop judging for a while and try to think through it and find the solution of the problem. Why would they? That will require them to accept that they failed as an individual in the society, somewhere they may have been a part of the discrimination and stigma that prevents someone to talk about their mental health issues. Somewhere, you have proved to be a failure as a society and you decide that you will be persist to be so even after someone’s death. At least, stop adding to their burden after their death. When you write ‘Rest In Peace’, then, let them instead of saying that ‘he or she was coward to commit suicide.’ You are coward that you still do not have the courage to accept that change needs to be brought and to take its accountability. Putting efforts is tougher than passing on comments and you always choose to trod on the path everyone chooses to.
Change yourself if you are one of these. Start bringing the change by changing your vocabulary. Stop saying “Oh, it is nothing. You will be fine. You just need to be happy” when someone wants a non-judgemental space to talk to and shares their mental health troubles with you. The fear of judgement and not being understood by anyone pushes one to take one’s life and what are you doing? You are doing exactly what took their life. By judging them, you are becoming the part of the problem to which they sought taking their own life as a solution. How low can you stoop by constantly judging that person and constantly sabotaging them even post their death. Stop suggesting that “they should have talked to their loved ones” or should have done that. Depression does not work like that. These “loved ones” are often the ones to discard the problems that the other is facing, especially if it is related to mental health. And please, depression is not sadness. It goes much beyond that. Change your vocabulary right now and cut off this toxic positivity or else, just stop talking about it altogether if you nothing else to do but judge. It is simple. You are not a professional. You were not in their shoes. You lose all rights to judge or pass unnecessary comments or unwanted judgemental opinions of yours.
The person who only saw the bright side in death is not foolish. Foolish are you that you are not even able to comprehend how to react healthily to it throughout the process and even after its end. Stop shaming them. How foolish can you be to not see that this toxic positivity has never worked throughout the years…..never? Start saying “I am here to listen” and “take your time”, assuring them that they have your back (of course, not at the cost of your own mental health) and proving it. Educate yourself instead of just going with the flow in the trend of toxicity. Lastly, if you don’t know and can’t understand the amount of pain, trouble and confusion one must have gone through before they saw no choice but to see the brighter side of death, keep your mouth shut and stop passing comments and making your foolish judgements.