I love that I weigh more, that I am—as they say—’chubby’. I love myself when I look in the mirror because I weigh more. It is purely a part of my personal space that how I choose to perceive myself.
I disliked that I was thin because I was not happy then. I was always conscious of how I was looking and that wasted a lot of my energy. I do not like many industries who focus primarily on a person’s natural physical appearance and discards it and demands it to be changed to be ‘accepted’ or celebrated.
Earlier, I had advantages of having many options in clothes but even when now I have gained some weight, the clothes in the market do fit and suit me and I have choices even now.
Another person may like or dislike my weight but that does not affect me. I am not grateful if you accept it and not hateful if you don’t because your opinion, in my private space, doesn’t matter at all. I am not answerable to anyone nor do I need to tolerate any person’s judgements.
If I believe that I am beautiful or cute or pure and my intuition acknowledges it as my truth, I do not care if you agree or do not agree because there is no place for you in personal and private space, no matter what gender, class, race or any other category you belong to. We need to see beyond these stereotypical norms which creates a hierarchy of lower and above, serving and being served. That is why individualistic society is the most egalitarian.
The only thing that I don’t understand is that why do people start to judge and oppose when someone believes in themselves? You say it generates from their insecurities but why do we let them get the better of ourselves? Why do people assume that they have the onus or the right to question how one handles their personal and private space? And if people want others to be a certain way, then why do they assume that they do not need to change accordingly, just because they have an advantage due to the biased norms of society?
This is not even about gender. This is about our own insecurities. We are unable to accept the fact that nobody or nothing completes someone but themselves. We need to stop feeding our minds with the thought that another gender, goal, person, milestone completes us and can regulate the drive of our lives. This is about unresolved v resolved issues including self-image because as I said before, there are mirrors everywhere. We reflect or project what we believe in and so, we can see, that many of these mirrors are cracked. They need to be fixed because their pieces are piercing through ones who didn’t break them in the first place. Our only focus, therefore, should be on us—our thoughts and how we are projecting, regulating or acting upon them. We need to realise that we are bleeding—that is the reason why we project our insecurities—and we need to heal before there is no such possibility left anymore.
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