I tried to keep her at bay

but she has started

to creep into my space

all over again.

 

I can’t get rid of her

but only can silence.

I am a residence

to the threat to my existence.

 

She–the void—not the black,

she drags me down in the drain,

in the dark with her again.

She makes my essence full of pain.

 

She is me—

fortunately or unfortunately—

who cannot really go away.

She looms over me as soon as I start to feel gay.