I tried to keep her at bay
but she has started
to creep into my space
all over again.
I can’t get rid of her
but only can silence.
I am a residence
to the threat to my existence.
She–the void—not the black,
she drags me down in the drain,
in the dark with her again.
She makes my essence full of pain.
She is me—
fortunately or unfortunately—
who cannot really go away.
She looms over me as soon as I start to feel gay.