After I started talking to you,
I began to imagine
more than a few
scenes of our first meeting.
I imagined me, you, my friend and her crush
out together to talk among all of us,
much like a discussion
full of analysis and questions.
That we will meet in a crowded place
and maybe, never, ever again
except if we happen to cross paths later
when we will recall each other.
Everything was totally different from
how I expected it to be
is what I gained from
when we first met for the first time physically.
I won’t lie, I wasn’t shy.
I had lost all my capacity
to recall my questionnaire
or to be present mindfully.
Hence, I wasn’t able to respond
as it appeared so surreal.
Once it had occurred,
it drew on me later.
Maybe, I had thought of it so much
that the real didn’t feel real anymore.
Be it your voice, presence or touch,
whether I was living it, I wasn’t sure.
I liked your honesty, though
that you expressed frankly
whatever was on your mind
without trying to make me feel low.
It may not appear to be so but I could see
a hidden concern in your advice.
I could make out your pretence,
an attempt to make me hate your presence
by acting opposed to who you are.
Maybe, you thought that if you point
to my weight as one of my insecurities,
I would like to move to another path
but even I was surprised
because I wasn’t offended by any chance
as a response to your remark
even though I didn’t have low self-esteem.
I was able to feel and react
in the subsequent hours left
once we had spent the day
and after we went our own ways.