All In The Head

“It’s all in your head”. Oh, yes, that is why my head hurts. My head is a world in itself. There is a tornado of thoughts. None of these are clear enough to discern or discuss. The chaos can be felt but not described. Even if I dig my hand in it, I can pick out no thought. I get entangled in the whirlwind instead and the cycle of thoughts and headaches intensifies, just like the physical pain. It is not “all” in my head though.

 

Applying or eating any medication makes it go away temporarily but it returns. Why? Because it is created by my thoughts. My thoughts exist because I do and it will persist to be so. The cycle is not broken. The thoughts may reduce in intensity but never go away because if I don’t think, I start to figure out why am I not thinking. You see, it is like a cobweb—a mental one.

Nevertheless, it is not all in my head. Had it been so, it wouldn’t have been evident, I wouldn’t have to seek help or take medications or canceled or avoided plans and opportunities. It definitely starts with my head though and spreads across my body. It is as outside as it is inside—neither all in nor all out. You don’t seem to notice until it becomes pretty evident, though. Your lack of observation doesn’t negative my mental health issue. Also, my head is a part of me. I can’t get rid of it. I can work on its functioning but except it, what to do?

One thought on “All In The Head

  1. Pingback: The Eternal Beauties | AAKANKSHA BLOG

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