I have a terrible fear
that I am purging through my tears.
I don’t know why I can’t help but feel
that you, too, will hurt and abandon me.
It is not that I don’t love you.
I do but I am scared to
be left all alone again
if the connection will end with pain.
So, I am escaping from creating such a situation.
I planned to leave you after my confession.
I don’t know why I need validation
of certainty when I consider such a relation.
I don’t want you to witness my terrible
state of being completely vulnerable.
I am sorry, I try to but I am unable to
trust you with my feelings despite loving you.