I have a terrible fear

that I am purging through my tears.

I don’t know why I can’t help but feel

that you, too, will hurt and abandon me.


It is not that I don’t love you.

I do but I am scared to 

be left all alone again

if the connection will end with pain.


So, I am escaping from creating such a situation.

I planned to leave you after my confession.

I don’t know why I need validation 

of certainty when I consider such a relation.


I don’t want you to witness my terrible

state of being completely vulnerable.

I am sorry, I try to but I am unable to 

trust you with my feelings despite loving you.

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