I can’t tell you why

I crave so much to die. 

So, please let me lie

in your lap and cry.

 

I do not understand

why do people condemn

the idea of reaching the end

of pain and worthlessness with death.

 

The people who confront 

and show fake concern

on my expression

are the ones

 

who have inflicted hurt, 

doubt and self-worth

in me since my birth

and now when I am growing up,

 

there is a sudden

change in their behavioral pattern.

I am unable to trust

that they won’t hurt me in the future.

 

I can’t trust that they will stay good forever.

I have seen the good turn bad.

I am also observing

how the bad has turned evil.

 

Maybe, they are not the problem. 

Maybe, I am the issue.

Nevertheless, I want this cycle to

cut off any more troubles, confusion or pain.

 

Though it is a kind of uncertainty

but sometimes, death seems beautiful to me.

I can’t think or explain

about how to perennially get rid of my pain.