I really can’t figure out why but I have been doubting my life journey a lot. I know that it is the underestimation of my abilities that is done by my family. It is not only that. I am getting really frustrated nowadays and that’s because of I am deprived of my private space, especially sexual, despite shutting people off my space as much as I can.
It is a combination of lacks and desires that is the cause of my frustration. Why do my parents think so suspiciously of others and why do I have to argue or fight about things that shouldn’t even be points of discussion at the first place? It doesn’t happen literally everyday but it does happen more often than not, therefore, it bothers me. All of this.
I am in an undesirable place in my life. I want to leave from here so I can breathe but I want no negative judgements to be passed on my desires and actions to be all by myself. I want to live not bothered about anything but myself and my growth, with nobody counting the things that they did for me which I should be grateful for, directly or indirectly. I want to leave this undesirable place full of people I don’t connect to anymore, no matter for how long have I been with them, and not feel guilty for choosing to live a life void of toxicity.