Sometimes, I observe myself

and I see myself doing things

that indicate that I don’t want to be healed

because healing requires a lot of courage.

 

It demands physical strength

and courage to allow myself to feel

and sit with my issues that I need to heal

but to do that, I have no energy. 

 

It is the greatest self-harm—

to intrude in the process of healing—

but sometimes I am overwhelmed

or have to endure painful feelings.

 

I hate being vulnerable.

It is that from which I escape.

I do everything to protect myself

from me or someone else.

 

 

 

Protective Escape

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