I am not Miriam,
for her religion prevents her
from physical proximity.
I am an atheist
scared of intimacy.
She can pour out her heart
in her conversations with Paul
and can dedicate, in this sense,
to him her all.
She doesn’t say much
and merely agrees with her lover.
I don’t have any such
problems in our conversation.
I can’t express the deepest emotions
and have to control my physical expression
from breaking out completely
because then, my beloved will become my addiction.
I know my family
and their over-concern about society
is what prevents me
from seeking his physical proximity.
Sex is despised in this country
due to society’s obsession with virginity
and it’s unnecessary association with girl’s character
which prevents me from being his lover.
I am not Miriam.
I am me
and have to deal with frustration
of denying desired proximity
to the man I love.