and think of smiling further
but something holds me back.
I know for sure,
something is bothering me from inside.
There is some pain
or some chaos
but this is certain,
that there resides something unresolved
which hasn’t yet come on the surface,
due to which I have lost the curve on my face.
I wear my headphones
and start listening to Music
to understand or altogether avoid
that resides within my unconscious.
The pain doesn’t leave forever.
I just can’t feel it in those moments
when I deliberately
keep my mind busy
to avoid the confrontation of my pain.
I smile while feeling pain inside me.
I am not yet completely healed.
There is still something left
to be identified,
discussed and resolved in me.
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