The rhythm of the Teentaal with the sound of Sa at the scale of D is healing me. It is stirring from within to mix the healing contents present in my bosom. I am feeling cool at the bottom of my bosom. I can feel it physically. 

 

This coolness has started spreading now. As I am feeling, I am writing. I am feeling this coolness as if the pure and cold water is seeping and spreading within the roots and from it to the rest of my body. My body is a tree. 

No contact with any counselor has been able to transfer such coolness in me in the past few months as the beats and the scale of the tabla and tanpura are transferring in me. How selfless are they. They don’t ask me to pay each time I want to hear them.

This is reminding me of my Music class. How thankful am I for it. It is my best choice. Here, I found my guru and he led me to a path of true inner peace and made me see my potential by making me break the barriers and limits that I created in my mind. I wouldn’t have really noticed that I had more potential than I ever practiced had I not met him. I cherish each moment spent there, even those when my anxiety attack couldn’t let me sing. I await to create new moments and memories there. The aura there is enough to make me feel at home and at peace. 

I feel really blessed to have Music in my life since I existed as a human being because had it not been with me on my journey, it would have completely meaningless to live any further with so much pain and suffering to endure with no one to rely on for a moment of relief. 

Right now, it is healing me. This is the reason why I come back to Music time and again. I know it will never leave me, even if I think that I have left it. Not a single note have I sung since I started hearing the taal and Sa yet I feel healed just by hearing it. My mind is calm but not numb. My anxiety is getting healed after Music has taken it out of the closet. I can feel it heal. I can feel the heat being replaced with coolness. I can feel the quiet which is not eerie. I can’t say enough about right now even if I keep typing eternally. I can only hope that as I am healing while I hear the Music and type this live blog, you, too, will heal as you read it. You, too, will feel the coolness in your bosom. 

I Am Healing

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