I know that Asphyxia is a grave problem and I am neither glorifying it nor mocking it. Not medically, but on a soul level, I have felt Asphyxia a lot of times. The only thing I am persistently afraid of is becoming the older version of myself, of repeating the mistakes I have outgrown and learnt from. This fear makes me stay up at night.
If I become the older version of myself, it will be a situation where I will feel stuck. There will be nothing new to learn from it. There will be sweet or sour pain associated with the events. There will be cheating, isolation and exhaustion by fighting alone and of course, a lot of self-doubt. I escape from the feeling of being stuck and the asphyxiation caused by it.
I have successfully found my way out of the asphyxiating box in which firstly, my anxious thoughts and then, other people’s anxieties—that they projected on me—choked my lungs and mind from breathing, with utter difficulty. I would never wish to see myself in the same situation again even in my dreams.
I love my evolution and the constant journey of self-discovery that I am on. I love how self-love and positive thinking (which I am able to do to an extent) is attracting positive connections in my life’s journey. I love how I feel complete and divine within myself. I love my journey full of many emotions as love, hatred, at times other people’s jealousy, friendship, compassion, respect and much more. I love how I endure the tough lessons of life.