Patriarchy affects all–men, women and the LGBTQ. It burdens, encircles and traps them within its suffocating norms that are followed since older times and are no longer relevant in today’s age of feminism and equal rights, opportunities and recognitions. There is actually no need to carry this burden on our society anymore. A society would not dismantle if patriarchy will not exist.
My guru is not supposed to be tough and strict just because he is my ‘sir’. My female teachers might not necessarily be lenient and understanding just because they are females. Same applies to my male and female friends. My brother can be emotional and I, as I am, can be too rational.
Men and women, both feel equally, though in different ways and intensities, but patriarchs restrict men from expressing soft emotions. Women can be burdened by more work than anyone but patriarchy discards their position, responsibilities and hard work. A man actively taking care of the household and not earning money is discarded as less of being a man. Why can’t men be good homemakers? Why can’t they cook well? Why is a female ‘supposed to know’, inherently, how to cook and why is it supposed that women love doing household chores? Haven’t you noticed that most of the chefs working at the best of the restaurants are men?
Patriarchy, however the system began to be practiced, proved and continues to exist as a curse on an egalitarian, happy and satiated society. Rituals like dowry are made and practiced due to patriarchy. Men are asked to be rough in language and behavior by the patriarchs because absurdly, doing otherwise makes men ‘less of men’ according to them.
Women can start, run and make their business excel and men can defeat everybody in designing and creating fashionable clothes. Men may even walk more gracefully in the fashion shows wearing the saris or other clothes (even if those are usually worn by females) that they have designed. They can wear these clothes regularly and can wear makeup as well. Men can and do work under females. A woman boss can be dominant.
Patriarchs discard the identity of the LGBTQ community altogether. They try to justify their injustice and foolishness by calling them unnatural and out of ‘norm’. Due to the patriarchal society, many parents abandon their child if he or she is born or identifies himself or herself later as a member of the LGBTQ community. Patriarchy, in this way, spreads its toxicity as a poison which kills the parental affection and care of the parents of the children who are born or identify themselves as lesbians, gays, bisexuals, transgenders or queers. It creates its norms and society and discards all who don’t accept its toxicity.
Patriarchy, absurdly, defines personality while it is not practically possible to do so. The advertisements of a supposed standard of beauty for both—men and women—are made and promoted in a patriarchal society. Each individual is, essentially and truly, defined by the amount of gunas (sattva, rajas, tamas) or doshas (vata, pitta, kapha) they practice at various situations. These are the actual categories to focus upon, going beyond the stereotype of male and female or masculine or feminine. What we are fighting is not a fight between male and female but equality and patriarchy where we are trying to defeat patriarchy so that equality can triumph. Slowly but surely, if we keep moving in the right direction, we will achieve it.