There is a battle we fight with our mind everyday. You might not notice this until the subject of the battle is something that shadows over your mind and obstructs novel, crucial and positive thoughts. I fight this battle of me v me everyday. 

People say that your mind acts according to the information you feed in it. This is partially true. I am a realist. This makes me seem pessimistic at times, not only to others but me as well. When I go on a morning or evening walk, there always comes a moment when I feel like I don’t need to strive more. Instantly, my mind divides into two parties, one presenting the positive and other the negative opinion. The arguments are so strong that it becomes tough to evaluate and decide practically as a realist. 

Every day, we have to stand up for the positive thoughts and conquer over the toxic ones. Toxic thoughts don’t always seem to be negative. They may be veiled as self-love but do more harm than good. Whenever I go for morning and evening walk, while I am circling around the society, my body starts getting exhausted naturally. I think that let the target be or why should I bother to try to accomplish the target when I know that I can do without it? The other opinion says that why not achieve the target when I have crossed half-way? My rational mind decides that if I can’t achieve the target of the steps to walk, at least I can achieve the calories to be burnt by walking a little more because it is really easy to achieve it half-way even if I don’t go on a walk. Why not, then, achieve it while I am on the walk? 

I face such dilemmas in every big and small instance of my life. Today, my mind gave me the choice to either postpone the release of the song I wrote and composed earlier this year in April or try to rehearse and perfect it and when I get satisfied and feel that it is perfect (which is nearly impossible), release it as a video. It took me 8 attempts after rehearsal to perfect everything after which I was satisfied enough to release my new video today. 

This battle is inevitable,  inescapable and crucial. It makes us self-aware. We become aware of our thought patterns, habits and the efforts we make or the lack of efforts that we should erode. It is extremely significant for our growth. Our choices make me. This battle is about positivity v toxicity. This battle that we fight within largely shape our lives. 

Battle Within

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