There is a lot of noise inside me which if it settles, is a problem and if it doesn’t, then too is a problem. If it settles, there would be no art in me to produce as there would be no stirring and everything will be silent. If it doesn’t, it will not let me sleep at nights and take away my peace and even appetite. It will demand my undivided attention which I would have to give or I would not be able to carry out other tasks but if I invest my time in comprehending the contents of the noise, I would lose time on the other important tasks of career and studies. It is the dilemma of a creator’s life.
Like today, the noise is settled so I could study with full concentration but was at a loss of inspiration for my art to be produced. At times, I calm the noise by watching the scenes of movies or shows or listening to songs with lyrics which resonate my feelings at the moment.
The lack of noise makes my work slow and my work is produced as fragments of thoughts that came up in my mind on different days and time. When, finally, all of these are collected and arranged in a comprehensible manner, only then can my composition become completed. This process may take years as well to make one piece of work because of the excessive presence of rapid thoughts who are impossible to be all recorded at the same time with precision or contrastingly, because of the void of thoughts altogether. Today is six days after I had written the first two paragraphs of this prose that I am able to complete this because I came to a halt and total void of thoughts and the noise to continue writing further on the topic. It has been almost a week since I started writing this composition.
I believe, until there is no hustle, there can be no composure because to regulate your emotions, they should be unregulated first. This hustle is inevitable. How can you do your room if there is nothing to be dene? Whenever you would need something you desire from there, you will have to hustle between the sheets and clothes to find it. This hustle is the noise or vice versa. This noise is inevitable and at times, necessary to take some action against the wrong and for development.