I am an old soul trapped in a new body. Classical music and Jazz gives my mind serenity and helps me think and work effectively and efficiently. I believe in the romance of the ball rooms, chariots and the time when ‘love’ was not so easily found. I don’t associate with the new ways of romance except that I don’t escape from expressing my love if it is true and I am sure about it and I don’t associate this as a man’s role to be performed. I love gifts made by people where they put in effort to make me feel good. I believe in living with family with harmony for the whole life and am sure about building my own as well but once I achieve my career and personal goals in life. I believe in educating oneself in one’s passions. I just don’t adhere to the stereotypical and illogical rules of the society. Society can’t bind me. If I marry, early or late, it is not because my family, friends or other connections of society suggested so but because I felt like I was ready to travel on a new journey and would be able to sustain it for this life. I respect them who respect me and my beliefs.
I feel everything from the core of my heart. I love wandering under the shade of the trees in orchids which have now become a luxury. I love observing the sky change its color, varied as per the time and distance. I love climbing up on those trees and staying there till the evening. I love hearing the chirping of the birds early in the morning and to end the night with the sound of the firefly. I love reading books in the library and seeking through the gaps between two shelves. I love reading for the sake of reading and thinking.
My friends are not able to understand me completely because they keep up with the time. I do, too, but in terms of education, money and other survival requirements of the age. When it comes to emotions and feelings, especially care, affection, love, I am an old soul. I believe in sweeping my beloved off hid feet with loads of surprises. I love trying to give them something they direly need and yearn for in their lives.
Though right now I have to publish my work on an online platform, especially my music, but I love to see the reactions of the people who hear me for the first time or after a long period of time when I perform on the stage in front of them. I still feel butterflies in my stomach but now, more because of excitement. Though, there is still nervousness that I have to perform to the best of my abilities. Healthy criticism is still the reason behind minor and major growth in me and my careers because how will I know whether I am lacking somewhere or most importantly, whether my audience is able to connect to my work and whether they were transported to another world when they were in the flow of the composition?
I am happy being an old soul. I cannot keep up with the hollowness of life that people live after they pursue their ‘dreams’—glamour, fame, money. My dreams drive me to strive. They help me grow not just in terms of potentials but intellectually and emotionally. They challenge me and make me aware of myself and my psyche and unconscious. I love living my life the old way, the simple way the true way.