I have a bittersweet relationship with my family. I agree on both the positive and negative sides of them. I remember the days when they have unintentionally demoralised me but I also remember the days when they have celebrated my success before me and were more elated than me. If they have deposited negative feelings at the core of my heart, they are also the ones to make me smile.
They are the main reason behind my success in anything, not completely but yes, they are. Sometimes, when they criticise me (positive criticism), it leads to me taking the task as a challenge and helps me excel in it. It is true, though, that this race to defeat their otherwise thoughts about me always wears me down and leaves no energy in me to think anything beyond thoughts colored in pessimism.
A moment before, I might be angry at them at something but just the moment later, they come to appease me. Though my parents, regardless of whether I am upset or not, never fail to mention how much money have they spent on me and are still spending. My father wants to know how, when, where will I do what I would pursue as my career because he thinks that nobody can do a task correctly without his guidance or interference.
My brother might fight with me all day and each time he visits and sees me in his day but can never see me cry, no matter what. He might have been a trouble to me by complaining to my parents about my marks and studies but he supports me the most (although my parents do too but he is a constant supporter to my career) and never questions my aim or my capability to achieve them.
Some days I feel like I love them the most and if need be, might even sacrifice my life for them but on the other days, they are the source of my exhaustion. Some days, I shower them with love and accept its reciprocal but on the others, I want no human to be around me, touch me, hug me and am irritated by their slightest behavior. They consider me absurd but they are the reason behind it and therefore, have to face the consequences. I am living a bittersweet relationship with them.