I am numb right now. I fantasised hundred times of hundred things about you and our first meet but all this was unexpected. Maybe, that is why, right now I am not able to comprehend what I feel towards you now when I have finally met you or even whether I do.


I liked your straightforwardness and honesty for sure. I liked how you told me four times during the two hours of our meeting that I have gained a lot of weight. Even I have shattered your hopes in this matter. Maybe, whatsoever you ever felt, even for a second, in your life for me is now not in you anymore.

Honestly, I liked the places we visited together quite a bit. They were new and adhering to our needs. I liked our conversations. Did I like your heavy panting in my ears then and do I like it now? I don’t know right now. I am numb. I did not expect it on the first meet so I was, to be honest, a little taken aback for a while but now, I consider the fact that being older to me, your natural instinct might have been acting for the fact of you being an adam.

I am receiving no signs and signals from my senses now as I had received when I had not met you but I am receiving signals from the universe yet again to have faith on me, you and that this association can end in a desirable outcome. I started writing this in the evening when I was uncertain but after I woke up, I don’t feel numb anymore. I think I just felt numb because I didn’t expect you to be so frank with me and that there is really a lot of intimacy already developed between us.


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