I am a writer of moods. My emotions drive my words. The words change as the wheel of the racing car of life take another turn into the unknown. The turns fill in adventure. The adventure consists of all the flavours— sweet, sour, bitter, salty. The various flavours of life make the life worth living, sans boredom.
There are two ways in which I express my thoughts— singing and writing. Firstly, I hear songs and mum to them. Sometimes, I don’t hear them and just sing on my own to vent out my feelings. But sometimes, there is a lump in my throat. So, when my voice isn’t able to accompany me, my hands do.
So, I start writing. You need to release whatever’s inside. If you grip a rope tightly for a long period of time, only your fingers would get bruised. Similarly, holding on to grudges only hurts you. Art is the medium of cleansing your soul, and it serves its purpose rightly so.
When I write, I send my logical mind on a momentary leave. The expression of emotions should be void of logical implications. The logic makes us mechanical and not practical enough to peek into the windows opening towards the inside. So, I bolt the door to the 100 billion postmen traveling various paths to initiate functions in the system to peak inside the sack of the crumbled and pick up each treasure to understand my psyche.
When I am sad, I write in pathos and hear and sing accordingly. Melancholy lays my words in chaos, the ultimate truth of life. Grief sucks all of my words and energy to write. Sadness and grief are two different emotions.
As stated by Dr Lisa Firestone, a clinical psychologist, in her study ‘The Value of Sadness’, ‘sadness is a natural part of life and is usually connected with certain experiences of pain or loss or even a meaningful moment of connection or joy that makes us value our lives.’
Grief, on the other hand, as described by Julie Axelrod, the Director of Litigation for the Center for Immigration Studies, in her article titled ‘The 5 Stages of Grief & Loss’, is a combination of 5 stages— denial and isolation as a common defence mechanism to rationalise overwhelming emotions, anger expressing the pain the reality has caused to an individual, bargaining- the ‘if only’ stage, depression and lastly acceptance as a coping mechanism.
When we discuss in the lectures in the college about the writing styles of the authors and poets, I believe I don’t have a particular style or theme of writing to be narrowed down to. I am, since I have been writing, just a writer of moods.